Apparently, Joe Biden has upgraded the annual White House Easter Egg hunt. After a few years of complaints from parents that it was “no longer as fun as it once was”, the White House has reacted with a statement on April 1st which will make us gin lovers very happy.
According to White House spokesperson Gordon Gin: “Easter is a time for everyone. For too long, kids have had it all their own way. Many parents told us that while they pretended to enjoy watching their kids run around in search of Easter eggs what they really wanted was a strong cocktail. That’s why this year, while the kids are roaming around looking for eggs, we’ll be holding a separate event in the Rose Garden.
“We’ve hidden 100 bottles of craft gin and 100 bottles of premium tonic water in “hard to find” locations around the grounds. The idea is that we’ll meet up afterwards. The kids can work off their sugar rush and their parents can chill out with their own cocktail”.
Responding to the White House announcement, 35 year old mother of two, Tina Tanqueray confirmed: “This is a great move from a progressive administration. The kids have had it their own way for too long. Now it’s our turn. We’ve spent much of the year sourcing treats for Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween – the list goes on. Now it’s our turn to have some fun”.
Kid’s Union of America spokesperson April Fewell said: “This is fine by us. Anything that involves chocolate without parental supervision is a great idea. If we can distract them with G&Ts for a few hours, the more chocolate there is for us. And a happy parent is a good parent. We’re off on a chocolate hunt”.
PS – Happy April Fool’s Day!
Written by Steve (with a little help from Ruddles, the gin dog!)
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